Condemnation terms directed at nonbelievers:
You have turned your back on god. - (really? which way is his/her back turned?)You have distanced yourself from god. - (how far a distance is he/her?)
You have put up a wall up between you and god. - (a wall?...more ludicrous insane babble)
You reject god. - (reject which god?)You are a sinner. - (and so are all the animals too!)You hate god. - (Yes I do hate all false gods!)You've built a wedge between you and god. - (built a wedge...lol)You need to be saved. -(you need to get an IQ)You are going to hell. - (which hell? Allah's or Jesus?)
You will burn in hell. - (you sure hope so don't you?)
I will pray for your soul. - (equal to saying, I'll lick a turd for you)
I will pray so that you will find Jesus or god. - (so where are they hiding?)You need to be washed in the blood of the lamb? - (you need to be unbrainwashed!!)
You are rebelling against god. - (how does one rebel against the supposedly most powerful being in the universe?)You are backsliding against god. - (yeepee backsliding yaa!!!, it's so much fun!!)
He/she is of a reprobate mind. - (you are a self-righteous jackass)__________________________________________________________
If I were you, I would invite Jesus into my heart. - (if I were you, I'd get an education!!!)Why don't you say the sinners prayer? - (why don't you kiss my hairy stinky ass?)
Your soul needs to be saved. - (where is your evidence for a soul? You have none.)
Your soul is of filthy rags. - (your brain is of filthy rags!!)
Why don't you turn to god today, before it's too late? - (which direction should I turn, N.E.S.W.?)
You need to be baptised by the holy spirit. - (you need to grow up!)You are possessed by a demon. - (you are a damned fool!)He/she's under a heavy or strong conviction. - (you are under indoctrinated dogma)Rebuke Ye, the devil. - (go away ye fool)
Silly emotional appeals:
Jesus is coming! - (any minute now, I can see him in the clouds already!)
Why don't you invite god (or Jesus) into your heart? - (I can't invite any "thing" into my heart, and neither can you!)Open the door to your heart to god. - (my heart don't have a door, neither does yours)You really need to pray hard! - (you need to mind your own damned business)I will lift my hands up in prayer for you. - (go ahead and waste your life pretending you're doing something, when you're not!)I put all my problems at the foot of Jesus. - (so you're a coward and not facing your own problems and pretending to hand them over to a dead imaginary being?)Which church do you go to? - (what is a church?)
God is getting ready to stir your heart. - (what he/she going to use, a spoon, mixer?)Why don't you hand god the keys to your heart? - (my heart does not have a lock, neither does yours)The fool says in his heart, there is no god. - (the real genuine fool thinks his heart talks to him/her)___________________________________________________________
False pious claims:
I'm a Christian! - (and you're also mentally unstable!)
The lord is my Shepard. - (Because I am a fearful mindless sheep)
I have a personal relationship with god and Jesus. - (we pretend to make love together in my mind, how sick is that?)
I walk in gods footsteps. - (I piously pretend to walk with an imaginary being.)
I be sure to pray in public where everyone can see me praying. - (I want so bad for people to think I'm a good little christian, even if I'm not.)
I talk to god on a regular basis. - (his/her voice sounds just like mine and it says just what I want to hear, and it constantly reminds me what a great christian I am.)
I pray to god every day! - (I waste my time pretending to pray to an imaginary being every day, just as Muslims, and Buddhas do.)
I read the Bible everyday. - (I waste my precious time reading a book compiled together by a bunch of ignorant superstitious fools, over 2000 years ago.)
I'm a Christian! - (I think I'm better than those that do not believe as I do!!!)
Jesus died for your sins. - (well he didn't have to, because he got fooled into thinking he was a god of some sort)
There were 500 witnesses to the resurrection. - (name just one of their names besides the disciples, you can't so it's all just conjecture)
I'm on fire for Jesus. - (you're just brainwashed out of your own common sense)______________________________________________________
False spiritual wisdom:
There's a spiritual warfare going on between god and Satan. - (I can smell the gun powder and the napalm, can't you?)
Satan, he is the father of a lie. - (so are all Christians)
Satan is a liar. - (you are too!)
Satan has cast doubt into your heart. - (Satan does not exist!) ___________________________________________________________
Church marquee slogans:
God sends us faith so that we will believe in him.
When we stop listening to god, we loose out on his blessings.
Smoking or nonsmoking?
Free membership inside.
Confused? Free instructions inside.
Are you lost? Free directions inside.
Come inside and be one of us.
Seven days without prayer, makes one weak!
Jesus is cumming!
Bend over and let Jesus into your heart!
The beautiful thing about christianity is, you get to elect yourself a glorifide false title and then you get to go all around the world with your false authority and tell people about how wrong they are for not believing the same thing that you believe. And you get to condemn them to hell and you are always right and are never be wrong about what you've been indoctrinated and brainwashed to believe.
A christian can never do anything wrong because they the get out of sin card,
from their imaginary jebus.
More ridiculous Christian sayings:
WHY THEY'VE TAKEN PRAYER PLUM OUT OF THE SCHOOLS.....!!!!!!!:
You idiot!!! You can pray 5000' in the bottom of the ocean with a helmet and straight jacket on!!!
The real manipulative Christian answer is: They can't see me pretending to pray to a make believe god in front of a bunch of ignorant jackasses!
WHY THEY'VE TAKEN GOD PLUM OUT OF THE SCHOOLS !!!!!!
Because they roped and hog tied poor god and drug him out of the schools!
The real Christian answer is: I want people to see that I believe in a god so much that I have passed up all common sense and want people to look at me, especially to see me as a Christian...DUH!!!