How to educate a religious imbecile

I was walking down town one day and I was approached
by an ON-FIRE-FOR-JEBUS-FUNDAMNGELICAL, a man around the age of 63 I'm guessing, and he handed me a gospel tract, and I said, OH yeah I get those all the time, but I said surely you don't believe any of that is true do you? He said why not? I said, because the people who wrote the Bible over 2000 years ago, thought that diseases were caused by demon possession, evil spirits, and witch spells, but we now know with the invention of the microscope somewhere around the 1700's, and through modern medical research, that diseases are caused by bacteria, germs, microbes, and man-made chemicals.

I said, you don't believe diseases are caused by demon possession, evil spirits, and witch spells do ya? He said, well no!
Just to be not disagreeable, I think.

I said, they also thought that the earth was flat, you don't believe that the earth is flat do ya? He said, well no!

I posited, that they also thought that the earth was at the center of the universe, I asked, you don't believe the earth is at the center of the universe do ya? He said well no!

I said that they also thought that the heart was the center of all thought and emotion, and that they believed that the bible god spoke to humans through the heart, and that the heart could weep, or jump for joy, get hard or soft, or wax cold, has doors, also has a rudder, but we now know through medical research that the heart is a pump which pumps blood and it is the brain that is the center of all thought and emotion, I said surely the creator god of all things would have known that the brain is the center of all thought and emotion, Would you not agree? He said, yeah! Also the word brain is nowhere found in the bible, this example alone proves that the bible was not written by any god.

He said, but I have faith that the bible is true! I said that Jesus also supposedly said, that anyone whom had enough faith as a mustard seed could move a mountain, I said anyone who had enough faith as a mustard seed should be able move a mustard seed, but I have never seen this done have you? And he said, no! This example alone proves that faith is a farce!

I said that, Jesus also supposedly said that, any Christian could be bit by posionious snakes and drink any poison and no harm will come unto them, but we both know that is not true!

Also the NT was not written until 30-100 years after jesus' supposed death, and the original names of the authors are unkown, the names Paul, Mark, Luke, Matthew, John, were names given unto the writers and are of English origin, and are names not common to the area in which the bible was supposed to have been written. I think he was surprised to hear this.

I also told him that before the white colonists came over here, there had not been a bible, a church, a black slave, nor the English language, on American soil. I said if you will notice there are no Indian grave markers to be found here on the east coast, because they did not believe in the bible god nor their jesus, but all the christians are burried beside their church claiming to be in the waiting arms of jesus.

Also, the majority of Americans boasts this to be a Christian Nation, and if that were true then, we would be living side by side with the Indians in peace and harmony, because jesus supposedly taught to "love thy neighbor as thy self and to do un to others as you would have them do un to you, and to love thy enemies, thou shalt not kill?), yet it's perfectly Ok to kill in the name of jebus isn't it? It's OK to kill in the name of Allah too, isn't it? See the correlation between the two Abrahamic religions?

The white christians used the bible as justification for killing all the infidel Indians, (they were not infidels, they were real human beings). And the fundy christian said that he personally had nothing to do with killing of the Indians, I said I know that, but your religion is responsible for killing most of all the American Indians and taking their land and that this land really belongs to the Indians and not the white man.

I said, Why do you think that the Indians were granted a privilege to run casino's, a privilege that the white man is not allowed to have? It because of the mistreatment of the Indians by the white man. The white man killed and slaughtered millions of Indians by cutting their heads off, burning their homes with children and the elderly inside and claimed their land as their own, with no pity upon them unless they convert to christianity. He said, you're right!

I said, the bible writers also thought that prayer worked, He said his back hurt him real bad one day and he prayed to jesus to heal it and he did, and I said why would jesus heal your back when there are thousands of children around the world starving to death every day and yet he chooses to ignore their prayers for food? He had no answer for this. I said god nor jesus will heal amputees, why not? He had no answer for this!

I told him that nothing fails like prayer! I also told him there is a very true saying, "Two hands working will get more done than, one thousand hands clasped in prayer."
I said that surely at least one of the 6 million Jews had prayed for god to intervene and to save them from the Nazi death camps, yet millions of god's favorite people were killed as untold thousands of them were bulldozed into mass graves while praying to their false bible god as they were being burried alive, yet your bible god sat idly by and did exactly what he has always been famous for doing, absolutely nothing!

I told him that the bible god could have caused Hitler to have a heart attack, or a stroke, or a tree limb could have fallen on his head or a stray bullet inter into his body and kill him and no one would have known that the bible god had intervened, yet he chose to do what he always been known to do, absolutely nothing! So with that being said, Christians don't have a snowballs chance in hell to have any favors done for them, if he will not do anything for his own favorite people.

I mentioned the Noah's Ark fable, I said that the bible god had commissioned a 600 year old drunkard to build a boat and fill it up with all the animals in order to flood the earth to rid the world of all evil and wickedness, and the first thing Noah did when the flood was over, he got drunk and then very soon in the same chapter of Genesis, we have the wicked city of Sodom and Gomorrah, so what happened to the brilliant plan to rid the earth of all wickedness and evil? It didn't work did it? He had no answer for this.

They also made up that a rainbow was a promise from the bible god not to flood the earth, but we now know that rainbows are the result of the prisim effect seen by our eyes from the reflection of water molecules against a light source.

Also it took the bible god only six days to create the universe, but yet it took him forty days and nights just to write the ten commandments. Were the ten commandments a greater task for the bible god than creating the entire universe in just six days? He had no answer for this.

I asked, Do you really believe there exists a god that is (that ignorant?), to have a man to take many years to build a boat and retrieve all the animals to rid the world of all wickedness and evil and it didn't work? He said, no I guess not! I can tell at this point, that maybe he's finally coming around to his senses.

I also said, according to the bible, supposedly the bible god kicked Satan and his angels out of heaven and he knew that Satan was lurking around on Earth long before he created a man and a woman, yet he continued with his plan knowing full well of what Satan was capable of doing in spite of that, he still went forward in creating a man and a woman. Would it not be logical to assume that a higher being capable of trying to overthrow heaven would try to deceive humans whom which had no prier experience with an evil being and would naturally try to thwart any plans that the bible god may devise? ("he knew that Satan was lurking around somewhere on Earth," this is assuming by the writers that the Earth was the only planet existing and located at the center of the universe") I said, any rational human would know better than this, do you really believe there exists a god that is that stupid? He said, no I guess not!

Humans cannot be held accountable, nor to blame for things that they had no part in creating, humans never created the universe, neither did humans create an Earth, nor did they create a garden of Eden, nor a tree of knowledge of good and evil, neither did they create an evil being, nor a talking snake, nor did they create a hell to put people in who do not believe in them, nor can humans be held accountable for the regretful wrongs done by the blundering god of the bible.

Christians can easily identify with their fallible bible god, because humans are fallible and they believe they were made in the image of their fallible bible god, therefore he is just like them, which should make one realize that the bible god was made in the image of humans invented with their own fallible minds.

The bible god wants humans to take the blame for all the wrongs and for everything that he has allowed to happen in the buybull.

Also if you'll notice, the nonexistent and the invisible look exactly alike.

Also a god nor jesus, never wrote one word of the bible, why not?, Surely a god that can create the entire universe in just six days, and one who could perform miracles, could write his own book, that would have been such an easy task, do you not agree? He had no answer!

The bible was written with the intent of it not surviving any longer than the life span of it's prophesied savior's imminent return, it is not a book that is congruent to these modern times.

Needless to say that I squelched the flames of that christian's fire for jebus, I have never seen such a distraught human being after I explained to him as to how we have all been lied to and have been misled that the bible was true by our parents and by religious and political authorities, (frauds).

But he is like millions of christians who have joined the christian cult without investigation of the sources of the bible and how they were put together, he most likely joined mainly because of peer pressure or he thought that by joining it would make his parents proud of him.

After all that conversation, I felt down right pity for that poor man, I gave him an anti-gospel tract and sent him on his way with nothing left for him to believe in except himself and for him to believe in the here and now without any make believe gods, nor does he no longer have a savior to hear his petty selfish pleas, he is now lost without his empty promises of a crown full of jewels and his promised mansion in heaven, it's right damned disgusting to see how grown adults have been conned into believing in things that cannot be proved and were written by ignorant superstitious people over 2000 years ago to manipulate the way people feel and think in a plot disguised as love and kindness, in order to steal their intellect and to con their hard earned money away from them.

I rest my case!


Chatpilot said...

Steven my friend kudos for that post it was brilliant, and as usual funny as hell. I would have payed a fortune to see that idiots face as his delusions were shattered. Keep up the good work buddy. Oh, also thanks for giving me a hand with akakiwibear. He is my equivalent of your Jaybird lol.

The funny thing about kiwi is that he was an atheist who converted to Christianity lol. That in my opinion is a step backward, as is his so called reasoning.

Steven Bently said...

" I would have payed a fortune to see that idiots face as his delusions were shattered."

Yeah, I swear I'd never seen a more broken down man, he was very polite and kind the whole time we talked, about an hour. I felt down right sad for taking his jesus drug of comfort away from him, he was spreading his 'good news to me' and I had to let him get a dose of reality, I wish I could find more people like him, I tried the same thing on my mom, but she just crawled back into her jesus cocoon and got mad at me for showing her how stupid she was for believing in such ridiculous nonsense. She has over 50 years invested in believing in jebus, and he's never let her down in her mind, my sister is just as loony as she is too, the nut does not fall far from the tree. They will fight for their jebus tooth and nail, just like

I'm almost sure that guy ran back to his pastor and he told him that he had just confronted satan the

You don't deconvert people back to reality that easily, OH, but I wish we could.

"The funny thing about kiwi is that he was an atheist who converted to Christianity lol. That in my opinion is a step backward, as is his so called reasoning."

The key word here is 'converted', he converted away from the default position of every person, no beliefs in gods, he converted away from common sense and reason, most likely because of the threat of hell, most christians will not admit that hell plays a big part in their conversion, but christianity is not about being honest, it's about defending the lies of the bible, it's totally dishonest, using metaphors, allegory and parables as truth claims.

Thanks Chat for your support, I really appreciate it!

Chatpilot said...

If there is one thing I have learned over the years it's that you can't reason with faith. The two concepts are completely incompatible and contradictory to one another.

I made the fatal mistake of letting kiwibear drag me into a debate using the bible. I should have known better, you can't win an argument of logic and reason when the source of your argument itself is nonsense.

Don't worry buddy I will support you always and I too am grateful for your support and all my fellow atheists that post on my blog from time to time.

Steven Bently said...

Thanks Chat, I have a lot of respect for you and I think you're an amazing person, I would love to meet with you some day, although we are some 6 hundred miles apart, I promised myself that I would never drive in Washington D.C ever again, that was in 1982, so you can imagine my fear about going to N.Y.

This magnificent pile of shit destroyed by the god of lightning!!!

This magnificent pile of shit destroyed by the god of lightning!!!
Big Butter Jesus, Destroyed!! In the twinkling of an eye....LOL

Divine Justice?

Divine Justice?
Jebus is in hell...!

This eyesore off of I-75 in Ohio finally gone, Praise Tha Friggin Lord...LOL

This eyesore off of I-75 in Ohio finally gone, Praise Tha Friggin Lord...LOL
Ahh... that looks much better! Thank You!, Thank You!, Jeebus!..LOL